A15

wooooooooooooooo this blog got me an A15!!! peace out homies lmao

Summary Questionnaire

awww is this module and this year aready over...gone so fast ! anyway heres that questionnaire-a-ma-jig





Age?
18



Sex?
female (altough ive been told i have a moustash!)



What is your degree subject (both if joint)?
English



Does ‘Being Bad’ relate well to the other modules you are taking?
erm, not really, this one is unique, but it didnt make my others difficult



If so, how? And if not, why not?
i dont really discuss this is other modules- more of a factual thing then an opinion based learning scheme.



Have you found ‘Being Bad’ too demanding, too easy, or at an appropriate level?
if im honest, i think it was a little easy, however ill wait for my grades before i truly know, it seemed to be more opinion based though, rather then learning facts, names dates etc



Do you think the list of topics covered on the module was appropriate?
yes, becuase they can be bad and some, like religion, can be a great example of extremely contrasted opinions



Are there any topics not included in the module that you would like to see included?
erm, i cant think of any, erm parhaps drinking?



Do you think that the format for classes has worked well?
yes for me it was fine, perhaps the lectures kept some people a bit bored though, hence some disturbance



What did you think of the module team?
great, lovely, beautiful, handsome (id like an a please hahaha)



Do you think it would have been better to have had more:
Small group discussions? no
Discussion and debate among the class as a whole? yes
Information and talk from lecturers? no i think that was just right

The approach taken in the module is interdisciplinary (drawing on perspectives from English Literature, Film Studies, Creative Writing, Philosophy, Religious Studies, Media Studies and Politics): do you think this a useful way of approaching the topics covered in the module?
yes, it means it was open to many students, therefore giving a base for good debates, also it made it more interested and for the blogs especially, meaning there was a variety of sites for each topic



Do you think that interdisciplinary modules are a good idea?


yes, it means students who dont normally intereact can, more interested etc

Do you think you have benefited from the interdisciplinary approach taken in the module?


yes, i liked the idea that i could do something creative and be marked on it!

Would you like to see more modules that cover this kind of subject matter?


yes

Are you planning to take the follow-up module PH2004 ‘It Shouldn’t Be Allowed’ at level 2?


i'd like to, but it doesnt fit in my time table!

Would you recommend ‘Being Bad’ to a friend?


yes, defintately

Do you think that the blogs (web logs) were a good idea?


yes, because if you dont like speaking up in lecture you were given a chance via here, aso it gave you a reason to further research the topics. but, if your not bothered about a topic it was hard to write something opinion based because you dont have an opinion strong enough on either side

What did you think of the other assessments (e.g. would it be better to have one longer assessment rather than two shorter ones?)?


no i think its good to have the 2- it means that if essays arent your thing you can still get marks elsewhere, also if your other modules are essay mad, which being an english students, they generally are, your not too bogged down

What have you learned from the module?


that nothing it black and white and everyone thinks differently to everything, and also that im not that opinionated as id have thought/liked haha

What parts of the module have you found most useful and why?


the discussions, towards the end i found i was more likely to give my opinion to the class where at the start i was too shy

What parts do you think were a waste of time and why?


the lectures where people spoke over the top of the lecturer and i could hear a thing!

Are there any other comments you wish to make regarding ‘Being Bad’?


i reallyenjoyed it- please give me a good grade ;). no i found it very interested and really enjoyed writing my creative assessment, thanks!

(http://wolf-nt.wlv.ac.uk/common/newframeset.asp?modid=wlv1508)

Lying essay- is the ability to lie a good quality?

this is my essay for assesment 3. i have based it on the lying with integrity topic.

“Everybody lies- every day; every hour; awake; asleep; in his dreams; in his joy; in his mourning; if he keeps his tongue still, his hands, his feet, his eyes, his attitude, will convey deception.” Mark Twain[1]
In this essay I am going to consider whether, if we all do it, lying is necessarily a bad thing, can it be a good quality? To begin with we need to understand what exactly a lie is. According to the Collins English Dictionary a lie is “1 make a deliberately false statement 2 give a false impression 3 deliberate falsehood”[2]. This implies that in order to be lying we must intentionally deceive someone. If we are intentionally deceiving someone then in what circumstances can this be a good thing, how can the ability to do so be a good quality?
Whether it is a good thing to lie depends upon context- when, why and to whom we are lying to. “The Truth hurts- so we respond to questions like ‘Do I look fat in this?’ or ‘Do you love me?’ with little white lies”[3]. It would be upsetting if we responded with the cold, hard truth so we deviate from it slightly in order to spare a person’s feelings. This is not a bad thing. In these circumstances it would be worse to respond with our exact opinion and risk upsetting someone. If we, however, completely lied and allowed our best friend to go out looking a mess based on our lack of honesty then they would be harmed by our lie- we have to find a balance between the two in order to justify our reason for lying.
Sometimes we need to lye in order to save lives. Ann Frank and those around her had to lie otherwise Ann would have died. In this circumstance, surely it would have been wrong to be honest. Paramedics also lie. Sometimes it’s better to hear that you’re going to be ok even if you are not. It would help no one to tell the truth. It would be different, however, if a doctor lied to his patient about his terminal condition. “The intended kindness of the former approach may backfire if the patient, when he eventually learns the truth, feels angry and betrayed, having lost the opportunity to make the most of his remaining time”[4].
According to Stan B Walters “dishonesty among the member of the intimate group can cause a great deal of emotional pain”[5]. This suggests that it is only due to the closeness of those being lied to that people get hurt. Perhaps it is not so bad to lie to a stranger.
In conclusion I feel that it is not a good quality to lie continuously with no regard to people’s feelings. I do feel, however, that it is a necessary one. In order to survive we have to tell lies. “We might become slightly nicer people if we pick and choose the lies we tell a little more carefully”[6]. I think that in some circumstances it is ok not to tell the truth, especially if someone will only get hurt.


[1] Brian King .The Lying Ape- an honest guide to deception. Icon Books Ltd, 2006, Cambridge, UK. Page 1
[2] Collins English Dictionary, 2005 edition. Editorial director: Diana Treffy. HarperCollins Publications.
[3] Brian King. The lying ape page 23
[4] Brian King. The lying ape page 205
[5] Stan B Walters. The Truth About lying. Sourcebooks Inc, 2000, Illinois, USA. Page 21
[6] Brain King. The lying ape page 210

being lied to? i found this handy guide on how to know haha:

http://www.howtoguides365.com/how-to/know-someone-lying/

calling in sick

one day i called in sick, i was not sick at all. instead of going to work i went to a football match. now this is bad in any occupation really, essentially its lieing, but i felt particulary bad because of working in a carehome- people would perhaps suffer due to me. obviously i didnt feel that bad to not do it, afterall i do love my football. is this really that bad though? when im at work i slog my socks off and football is the only thing i like to do. i gave a list of fixtures to my manager, who told me that she sould work the rota around those. she did not do this. n one wuld sawp a shift with me so what other choice did i have? ok so i could not have gone.... but she shouldnt have promised me that i could go and then i would not have braught the ticket got my hopes up and planned to go. it was an amazing match! if i had of missed it i would have been so gutted- ill make up for it at work today hahaha . encase any of you have a great football match to go to, heres some tips for calling in sick:

http://www.wikihow.com/Call-in-Sick-When-You-Just-Need-a-Day-Off

Commentos

1

Link: http://beingbadjess02.blogspot.com/2008/03/infidelity.html

i think that it is not ok for people to commit adultary, whether it is in our nature or not. it is also human nature to hunt and to kill- to survive. you dont need to have numerous partners, to reproduce with several people, you can survive and be perfectly happy with one partner. yes we need to give into our natural instincts- we need to drink, eat, breathe, sleep BUT we do not need to sleep around, yes we need to sleep with people- it comes natural but just one partner at a time will do- if you're not happy with one partner tell them before you go and find another! cheating is unacceptable.

2

Link: http://franhelpedmemakethis.blogspot.com/2008/05/getting-pissed.html

I completely object to the opening lines of this blog- we dont all do it, i dont drink, i dont ever have "too" many. we dont all take such a casual attitude towards drinking, ruining or insides, getting bad breath, behaving like a moron, saying things we regret, doing things we regret, being pathetic the next day- as if we're really ill. haha not that everyone does do all of those things, when they're drunk BUT alot of these are present and all the things i hate about drinking, as for the judge! it clearly was the booze that made the judge behave like this, he wouldnt normally behave in this matter but the drink cant be blamed, everyone knows that when they get drunk they behave like morons so the judge shouldnt, like the rest of you (hahaha) shouldnt drink so bloody much.

3

Link:http://taranjitbeingbad.blogspot.com/2008/05/religion-are-we-too-extreme.html

I agree that part of the reason people are less inklined to practise a religion may be due to our current circumatances- 9/11 etc. personally i resent the way in which people use religion as an excuse for terrorism. i dont have a religion but im sure that if there is a god, buddha etc they wouldnt agree with the mass murder of innocent people in their name. i think people just dont trust religion the way we used to. most religions require a great deal of faith, empty faith i feel, no proof just belief and in the day and age where technology, education and more importantly, science and facts are at our disposal we need evidence in order to believe!

4

Link:http://naughty6.blogspot.com/2008/04/bullying.html

i definatly agree that bullying i most definatly bad. i can totally relate to workplace bullying. my manager is horrible. i work in a care home and the morning meal is normally finished around 10.30-11.00 depending, naturally, on what time each resident gets up. my manager singled me out and told me because i as dishing out the breakfasts that morning, they needed to be done by 10. this was totally unreasonable but i was determinded to show her so i literally ran each breakfast round the rooms. i didnt, however finish at 10- it was totally unreachable haha- 2 people was not awake- afterall we all fancy a lye-in sometimes- so they could not have their breakfasts- therefore i could in no way finish! this is also the manager that said she required a sample of my diahrea when i called in sick- obviously she did not believe me! there is no way that we should have to accept this behaviour, but as i sit here watching dom jolly's complainers i know there is no way we will say anything to our managers- we have bills, rent, clothes- we need the money and thats that. we will never complain. however, schools are there to help children who are being bullied so they should definatly not put up with it just because we do hahaha.

5

Link:http://xxxxnishaxxxx.blogspot.com/2008/04/comedians.html

I totally agree with nisha! jokes are meant to be funny, yes some people are targeted but to be fair most people are targeted, i dont care if i am. i think people take it all too seriously. yes ok some of the material is riske, maybe offensive but i think its all in jest, its all written, if you dont like comedy dont go. the words used that may be forbidden are funny because when people do harmless things that are shunned on it is funny. get over it!

6

Link:http://bellys-weblog.blogspot.com/2008/03/shmoke-und-pancake-you-know-flapjack.html

i think the reason alot of people started smoking was because it not only seemed glamourous but it was. it was in films, noble soldiers did it. but i think that those generations can be excused because they had no idea of the risks. i cant believe youngsters these days start smoking when they know that its a stupid idea. i think its because its so shunned upon that they do it though. but what can we do? if we ban it people want to do it because they shouldnt. if we allow people to smoke in public again, lower the age to 16,15,14 people will do it because they can. one things for sure though, no matter how cool films i see it in, smoking will never be glamourous to me. not even humprey!

Bad Comedians

I'm not racist, sexist, heightist or anything else, nor do i normally find it funny when people die. i do however love to laugh and i cant help that jokes make me laugh, whether they rely on those topics or not. but the think is i dont care if someone makes a blonde joke, a woman joke or a joke about me- aslong as its funny. its just a joke- what harm does it do? this is a "bad" joke but i found it highly amusing:

"police investigating mark speights death say they now have a clearer picture of how he died- it was sent in by jo ages 6 from liverpool" now that i thought was wonderful, its not going to harm mark is it really? yes its slightly mean, but hes not here to hear it, and he was a funny man- im sure he'd find the funny side to it aswell.

i love comedians, and it doesnt matter to me who they take the micheal out of because no area is a no go, thats whats so funny, when it shocks you all the better.

i love stephen lynch- i think hes adorable, and very very cute ;) hahaha. but he is essenrially "bad" he sings about gay people, fat people, black people but its funny! one of my favourite songs is when grandfather dies:

When Grandfather dies Life will be strange

When Grandfather dies My whole world will change

When Grandfather dies I'll scream and I'll yell'

Cause I'll be fuckin' rich as hell

So Grandfather, die Don't keep me in suspense

Oh Grandfather, cough Up that inheritance

Oh Grandfather, don't Hold on another day

I love you to death But I've gots bills to pay

A stroke would be nice Disease would be cool

I'll scatter his ashes In my new swimming pool

I'll party with Hef I'll dine with the Queen

So what say we unplug that machine?

Oh Grandfather, die Before the fiscal year

Oh Grandfather,I Wish Kevorkian were here

Oh Grandfather, die Just take your final bow

Oh Grandfather, die Family hates you anyhow

For God's sakes, you must be as old as the sun

Your Social Security Number is 1

You're deaf, dumb, and blind, and an amputee

You donate your blood every time that you pee

Your arthritis acts up whenever it rains

You're so old your penis has varicose veins

Oh, why don't you die, Grandpa? Why must you fight?

You old motherfuckerJust walk toward the goddamn light

Walk toward the light, old man

Walk toward the light, old man

It's all over now My granddad is dead

A mysterious blow To his wrinkled old head

Before I collect A small oversight

But everything should work out all right

I'll start working on my grandma tonight

now the geniousness of stephen lynch is the fact that you dont expect it. this song starts off so soft and delecate, you think its going to be almost a love song to his grandad but then he shocks you, and the swearing just aids his performance. i think this is brilliant, yes it could be offensive but how can you not laugh? this is just as good but could be equally as offensive, if not worse:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zIux3dM3Nv8

Lying...with integrity?

i really enjoyed thursdays lecture on lying (1/5/08). theres a lot of confusion as to reasons for lying...when is it ok or even good to lie? like if your mate was hiding in the cuboard from a mass murderer and you was asked where he was, i most certainly would lie- would this make me a bad person? i dont think so. i dont get what the big deal about lying is- i lie, you lie, we're lied to, everybody lies every day about all sorts of issues-get over it. "was everything ok with your meals?" "oh yes thankyou" what we really mean is, well actually the peas were like bullets, the mash smelt like feet, the meat was obviously from a tin and the service was twice as bad. we dont say this, perhaps because were afraid of the truth and afraid to tell the truth. but we all lie! we exaggerate when we tell storys, we say people look nice, we pretend we missed the bus when really we just lay in bed 10 extra minutes. id rather lie to my boss then loose me job even if i know i shouldnt have lay in in the first place. its a matter of waying the moral wrong doing against the need to survive. we lie for confidence aswell, we wear make-up, joke teeshirts, high heels all to enhance or disguise our good points and our short comings. my eyelashes are not jet black and as long as half of my index finger, they may look better like this but i wear make-up to lie that they are. i dont want to admit i have short, stumpy, brown little lashes- who would that attract hahahha. perhaps its that im immoral or something, or maybe a bad person but i dont care that i lie based on the knowledge that i know im lied to, id prefer it if i was told the truth and id like to think i always tell the truth but im just not that niave. and encase we're all unsure what a lie is good old dictionary. com sums it up in ite number one, for me, anyway, im happy to accept that definition and keep it simple- forget aout morals hahaha.:

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/lie

Being too religious

personally, im an athesist, well not really, im not "anti" god or religion but i dont have any faith in any religion or god either. i take the same attitude towards religion as i do to most thing- if people are religious thats there business and its no concern of mine. i didn't appreciate the prayer at the beginning of the lecture- infact it made me rather mad. i dont force anyone to get involved with my hobbies/interest/life so i dont appreciate being forced to hear a prayer. obviously, i didnt have to bow my head in silence, utter arhem or join in but i thogu the way in which the prayer was spoken into the mike and without consulting anyone was wrong. i felt forced to hear his relgion- and i didnt even understand what relgion that was as we hadnt been informed. if people go to church and prayer, pray in their homes, in their head thats fine. i think people can be free to pray on the bus, even kneel down to do so if they choose but i dont want to hear their private mumblings- thats just it, it should be private. my big issues with relgion is that i feel some are hypocritical and contradict themselves. also i can not get over the "suffering" debate. if there is a god how can he allow so much suffering to innocent people whilst murderers walk free. and yes god gave us free will, and yes we created the justice system. but even so. hurricanes/ thunderstorms/ natural disaster take lives. im dont intend to insult anyones religion or faith- believe what you like. but please dont expect me to. i found a debate about the suffering argument:

http://video.aol.com/video-detail/do-pain-and-suffering-disprove-gods-existence/3464761389

Drugs

i missed the lecture on drugs because i had a funeral :(. however. i have a NO Way policy on drugs, obviously not medical ones, altough i only take them if i utterly have to. i dont do drugs, i dont condone the use of drugs. what is the point really? i hate people who use drugs as an excuse. "my cat died so i took drugs to escape this hardship" so what. people die. your not dealing with your issues, when you return from the effects of the drugs your cat is still dead, your problem is not solved. your just denying yourself a chance to deal with it and learn from it. its so stupid, in my opinion. i hate people who try and tell you that you should take drugs, that your boring, that it wont hurt. i dont tell people they shouldnt take drugs, dont tell me that i should. and it does hurt, and they ruin lives. if we're including drink in this, that also ruins lives. drugs kill. ok so you only do it once a week, well what if your dog dies...everyday? you steal for your habbit? you'd harm people for your habbit? your own family? dont tell me it wont hurt- argh!

anyway heres some evidence that it does hurt-

http://www.talktofrank.com/drugs.aspx?id=172#effects

Assignment 2

For assignment 2 i decided to write a story in response to the topic of infidelity. i chose to use the title "hiding from love" and also use the starting sentance "they had decided to meet at the bus stop". i decided to mirror the marilyn monroe film bus stop and used some of the character names from that film just for personal interest. here is my story for the assignment:

Hiding from love

They had decided to meet at the bus stop. Cherie didn’t want Henry coming into the house anymore. She was a few minutes early. She’d taken his Rolex from the bedside cabinet. In her pocket was his toothbrush. She sat down and sighed. Henry had come into the bakery two summers before and she’d fell instantly in love. He’d got jam on his tie. Now as the wind whipped her face and stung her eyes she was aware that it wasn’t just the weather that had gone cold. After working in a bakery for five years she knew she’d gained weight. Henry made it clear she was no Marilyn Monroe. He suggested a dance class a woman at the bank had recommended. She wasn’t keen but she knew how lucky she was to have a boyfriend with Don Murray looks. Then she met Bo, he moved so elegantly. He wanted her. He had some real regard for her and loved her curves.
“Cherie, we don’t have to do this”, it was Henry, his eyes sunken, unshaven and pale.
“I’m with Bo now”, she said struggling to keep the emotion from her voice.
“Please, I can change, give me a chance. I’ve been an idiot, I didn’t show you everyday that I loved you but I do. I realise I’m so lucky to have you, its so clear to me”. Henry didn’t bother to disguise the desperation in his voice. Cherie placed his things on the seat next to her.“Henry, I’m sorry, but I guess it’s just taken you too long to stop hiding from love”. She crossed the street. A bus pulled into the stop. When it pulled away Henry could no longer see her. He picked up his belongings finding it hard to walk away on shaking legs.

here's a website with more information about the film bus stop, aswell as other marilyn monroe films:

http://www.marilynmonroe.ca/films/index.htm

Being gooood

So i've thought about being bad, but naturally this led to me thinking about what being good actually is. there are many things we could do to be thought good...donate to charity, hold open the door for someone, help an old lady cross the road, be generally polite. i think there are many people these days who need a lesson in "being good" but i dont think that you're not good just becase you do the things on the module..getting a tattoo doesnt make you bad, it makes you creative? smoking doesnt make you bad, it makes you unhealthy and perhaps a little niave? however, i do think being unfiathful could take you down a few rungs on the good ladder becuase this harms other people. maybe, im beginning to think, that is where the good and bad line begins to merge- when other people are effected. but can you ever be good without effecting other people. if you had manners but you never used them infront of anyone, to anyone then you'd be thought rude-bad? perhaps both opposites need other people to be effected in order to actually make enough impact to be classed as either one? ive included a quiz you you can all test your manners and see if you're good hahaha

http://news.bbc.co.uk/cbbcnews/hi/quiz/newsid_3154000/3154227.stm

Body Modification

...is the permanent or semi-permanent deliberate altering of the human body for non-medical reasons. ok so tattoos, piercing, turning yourself into a cat, that kind of thing. i think this subject can pevoke strong reactions for some people but personally i'm not that bothered. my body is a temple and all that really only effects you if you're religious...and i'm so very not. i have 2 tattoos, i have one drew up and probably won't stop there. i don't however get a tattoo lightly. i draw it and then i wait, i wait and wait and wait untill i know i want that thing on me permanently. i like tattoos that hold a meaning..i think its so stupid when people go "hhhmm i want a tattoo today", nip in the tattoo place and randomly pick one off the wall that looks pretty.

my tattoos:

• A butterfly on my foot. ok. not very significant it seems. however, i got this tattoo to symbolise my 18th birthday. the butterfly represents me growing, being released from the cacoon so to speak, freedom and learning to fly (stand on your own 2 feet etc). it also marked the time i was actually allowed to get a tattoo as not being 18 mother and brother dear seriously forbade me haha.


• a heart on my hip, half coloured in. my boyfriend has one to match, only with the other side coloured in to make a whole. very corny. but i guess we're both stuck with eachother :)


• progress. i am planning to get 3 roses, interwined going from my ankle up around my calf, with a date across all 3. this seems barmy. however the date will be the day that my dad died. the 3 roses symbolise my brother, my dad and me. on the day that he was cremated my brother and i threw 3 roses onto my dads coffin.

i think that people take tattoos very lightly ad seem to forget that they are, unless you want laser treatment, permanent, who wants winnie the pooh on their soldier for 80 odd years? fiar enough if you dooo, but no thanks.

piercings: i have my ears pierces twice in each ear, my belly button. i did have my tragus (tat little wierd bit in your ear) done but my body rejected it..what a waste of 20 squid haha. i dont really plan to have any more. i dont want any on my face as i think people will always stereotype you if you do and i dont want to lose out on the job of my dream because when i have a drink in the interview it falls out my chin. while i personally dont stereotype people with facial peircing- woo get you, i know it happens and cant be bothered to stand up for my self haha. plus theres none that i fancy.

wierd things: turning yourself into a cat, a lizzard. all that stuff. i think this is silly. i dont think anyone was meant to be a cat and just because you try to look like one you will never be a cat. why are people so content on becoming something else. i think with peircings and tattoos your really just altering you. but becoming a cat/lizzard you're altering who you actually are and i think this is when body modification gets risky.

personally for me, body modification should stay hidden, if i do make any changes id like them to be reversable or hidable. i,e i can put on some socks or take out my earings. this is just me.

i have found a website dedicated to modifications, some avergae (ears, tattoos) but some very peculiar. there is some pictures that may be disturbing so be careful if you are a bit sqeemish:

http://www.bodymod.org/mods/listMods~type~hc~mod~Newest~find~~page~2.aspx

the things on that site are waaaaay to out there for me, but if thats how you want your body to be then go for it. i dont have a problem with people who like this stuff, each to their own, i just think personally some is unessasary to meeee. whether its being bad or not? i dont think it can be considered immoral. it could however be extremely dangerous is some of the modifications go wrong :/ and therefore unhealthy. i think people are attracted to this just because it does sometimes look good and its a way to be unique and express yourself i guess.

Infidelity on the box

Just watching Hollyoaks. amaaaaazing how much infidelity is actually in this show! ok so toni cheats on jacki with her sister mercedes. Justin cheats on Katy with his exes sister (Becca) Nancy, who is technically cheating on her husband Jake, who is Beccas ex husband. Katy cheats on Justin with Zak. all veeeery complicated. this show does highlight the aftermass of what happens when someone cheats though. friendships are ruined, familys are broken, people even become depressed. altougth this show does take it to the extremes- mercedes is black mailing toni for money to keep her from telling jacki. when justin origionally went with becca, she was married to jake, now because of their affair, becca went to prison because justin was underage, she then got stabbed, their baby- charlie, then went to the custody of jake and nancy, who then got married, jake then went insane and tried to kill charlie, after raping nancy- all as a result of the origional affair! very far-fetched but also highlights how one tiny selfish moment can affect many lives, for the rest of their lives.

texting your ex

I've got a couple of friends who text their ex. I've been considering this subject closely. Is it cheating? i think it largely depends on what is being said and whether its been hidden from the current partner. if your relationship is purely friendship with you ex now and your current partner is ware of this friendship, and perhaps even gets along with your ex then i dont think this classes as cheating. obviously the normal rules apply to this subject, only does cheating with an ex make it worse? somehow you feel more betrayed if your cheated on, and it was with their ex, perhaps this is because you've been constantly living in their shadow, and obviously if they'd rather return to their ex you didnt do a very good job and 'beating' the ex? my friends dont understand that texting their ex hurts their current partner and constantly say "we're only friends" but can you ever be just friends with an ex? will there always be something more lingering there? and my one friend tries to hid it from his current girlfriend, or doesnt disclose the whole truth, instead of admitting he saw his ex, he said he only spoke to her on the phone, not in person. this clearly shows that he feels guilty about seeing the ex in person, knows this would upset his girlfriend, so he clearly feels hes doing something wrong?

i found this site where they are discussing this topic:

http://askville.amazon.com/cheating-spouse-Text-Messaging-flame-200-times-past-year-telling/AnswerViewer.do?requestId=6059644

personally i think its not a good idea to tex you exes, even if it is all honest and youve both moved on, it puts strain on your current relationships , and obviously there is a reason your exes, so maybe you should just except this, you have other friends, let the ex go.

Charlton

at the moment i'm anticipating how many jumpers to wear tomorrow. i'm heading to Charlton to watch west brom hopefully thrash them haha. it got me thinking, not just about jumpers, but about bad behaviour. at a football match you can see and hear alot of 'bad' things. swearing, greed, violence, agression and sadly even racism. i remember one football match, at fulham i think, one of the opposing fans, a plump lady stood up to gloat at us. we were terrible... "sit down fat bi**h", which is incredibly mean. we all do it, at the time i admit it seems hilarious, but is it bad? hurtful, nasty but it was, in deed, just a retaliation. i cant help wondering if being bad comes down to context aswell. i wouldnt dream of doing that at the cinema if a rather large lady was taking her time to sit down, or at the theatre, or even in uni...so why was it ok then? perhaps it was because there was a group of us, but even so, outside of a football match id feel mean for joining in? when i was little i would steal penny sweets from the shop, not overtly just take one, but id count an extra one or two into my bag and tell the assistant id only had 20 pence worth when in reality i would have probably had 30. but when i was little i would never steal from the summer fair or from carboot sales, even if i had similar opportunaty. i think it was because i knew the things for sale had been baught with the persons own money, where in a shop, its a corporation? anyway, just got me thinking whether bd behaviour was down to context. i found this site about how football corrupts children, its on bbc so it must have been news!

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/education/4321869.stm

this is probably taking it a bit far, ive been going to football matches since i was about 6 and i still know how to behave like a decent member of society (even if i do jibe the other fans)!!!

what is being bad?

so, this module has got me thinking what exactly is being bad? to determine does it demend on personal morals or the law? does making something illegal really mean its bad? for instance parking on double yellow lines is illegal, but if you saw someone dying so you parked to help them how an you be being bad? i was at the bus stop today, and i saw someone push infront of the que, this person was an elderly woman, and im pretty sure she took advantage of the person she knew further down the line in order to secure a seat, once on the bus the two women did not speak to one another, im sure that what ever she needed to speak about so urgently back in the line could not have been important. how is it that this woman behaved like this and no one moaned about her BUT if someone young pushes infront of anyone all you hear for the whole journey is "young people today, got no manners" and other typical negative comments. to me pushing infront of someone (or the whole line) is being bad-its inconsiderate, rude and disrespectful- no matter what age you are.

other bad behaviour spotted today-

• smoking infront of a "please do not smoke sign" no surely as this is a request not an order this is not illegal? however, it is still being bad i suppose as someone/some sign as asked you not to do something and you have still done it, plus this was outside a public place, so its not very nice for the non-smokers to have to walk through the cloud of smoke to access the place.


• having your feet up on the chair infront at the cinema- no tis isnt illegal, its not really a big deal, but it is inconsiderate towards the people who are going to sit there after, especially if those shoes were wet


• swearing at the bus driver just because he couldnt change your note- get the right change in the first place, its common knowledge many buses dont have access to the change

hhhhhmmmm, well it seems that i have answered my own question- to me being bad is not behaving illegal, as that then falls into that category, but behaving rudely/inconsiterate towards others. on a lighter note, i watched juno which i thought was good- and relating to this topic- featured a 16 year old who gets pregnant- characters in her town and at her school 'shunned' her, so maybe this is thought to be bad behaviour also?

but what causes bad behaviour? i found this website, but its minaly related to children, i couldnt really find anything about adults/maturer people...

http://premium.netdoktor.com/uk/adhd/living/behaviour/article.jsp?articleIdent=uk.adhd.living.behaviour.uk_adhd_xmlarticle_004682

Kids

so, here we have a film that has most aspects of being bad, but i think this film took it way further than the topics we discuss in lecture! i found it very disturbing if im honest. thats not to say that i dont think its a good film, it was just uncomfortable to watch. it makes me quite sad to realise that this film is very close to the soceity we live in, and altough i dont think this film was based on a true story, it may as well be. as well as that annoying voice, tellys attitude also wound me up. the fact that he knew he was lying, manipulating and taking advantage of young girls and revelled in this act is disgusting. it made it much more uncomfortable to view because the girls were so young and had barely hit puberty. he purposely went out with the intention of sleeping with darcey, he never even once mentioned having a relationship with any of the girls, it was purely about sex. also found the swimming pool scene strange, as i thought that, was it harold?, was going to force himself upon one of the girls as he came across as very pervy. however, telly and his friends can not take all the blame for the seedy behaviour as the film showed how girls are also behaving in this way. in the fight scene in the park there are girls who jump in a kick the men also, and the fact that the girls are at the swimming pool shows they have no regard for their own safety. the younger girls whom telly seduced can be excused as being niave, as telly is rather persuasive with his lies. however, they should not just sleep with him on their first real encounter and should wait untill he proves his claims.

i think the films plays in irony well. the fact that jennie didnt even wat to go get tested and she ends up with aids, and the fact that telly sleeps with virgins partly to avoid catching diseases.

i think this was a good film as it reinforces in your mind the danger of sleeping with people unprotected and the danger of believing people and placing yourself in danger. it also highlights the danger of taking drugs, as had jennie not been out of it she may have been able to escape casper. i think the film would have been less successful if it wasnt based on children, and it wasnt so explicit. heres a clip of larry clark, in which he discusses the making of kids and abit about the childhood he experienced, where in reality wasnt all that different from the film.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FmdnRmM5BpI&feature=related

i think kids is the kind of film that you only need to watch it once for it to have a significant impact on you.

Bandits and outlaws

Robin Hood- fact or fiction? hero or plain criminal? i dont understand the whole love of robin hood, ive never really watched/read or cared for him, the closest ive got is the brian adams song, everything i do, which i think was from robin hood? this makes robin hood to me just a plain criminal, a fictacious character. however, i know that some people do have an obbession for the fellow, i found this website devoted to te legend that is robin hood:

http://www.robinhood.info/robinhood/factorfiction.html

i think you can tell that robin hood if perhaps closer to fiction than fact when you compare todays rogues with him. no one who steals, whether from the rich or poor today become heros, they are just thugs haha, perhaps they need to wear tights. on a serious note though, i know that some people do find crime interesting. there are magazines devoted to notorious killers and all sorts of books where you can read all the facts of murder cases, how the killer got caught, why they did it, how they did it. and people are't thought wierd for reading this material, perhaps this is somehow similar to the robin hood obbession, but an obbession with the general crimes not the killers today. you can tell that people are still intriqued by criminals as the memory of jack the ripper, whos crimes were commited in 1888, still lives on in kids today.

perhaps its the idea that these people have such a seperate mentality to our own that they are quite alien to us, which is why we are fascinated.

i think it would be easier to understand the obbession with robin hood if it is indeed true that he stole from the rich to give to the poor, though in lecture it was said that he stole from the poor, just in different villages, this is perhaps closer to the truth, which is why i cant understand this legend.

i think we sometimes take stories and alter the fects for it to bcome more interesting and perhaps "sellable", which is what i think happened to robin hood. personally i feel we should idealise characters like that, even if he stole from the rich to give to the poor, why doesnt he get a job and give his wages to the poor? perhaps i may be being cynical of an old myth, but i think children should idolise someone who doesnt take what isnt theres, whether it is for a "just" cause.

Masturbation

i dont really have much to say on this topic. personally i found the whole remote answer device rather uncomfortable. i think the reason why there is such a taboo about this subject is becasue it is a highly personal thing, if i did do it i wouldnt discuss it, for me its something that should stay behind the bedroom/bathroom door. i found the reading 'portnoy's complaint' rather vulgure, especially the terms like 'beat the meat' and the fact that the family then ate the liver for tea. also the iea that his sisters bra was a turn on for this chap was very disturbing to me. if my brother stole my bra for any reason id think he was a very strange child, never mind for that purpose!

often we joke about the terms used to describe masturbation, but i think thats to save embarrisment. i find all of the ones we mentioned in class quite distasteful, flick the bean, beat the monkey, i just think that these terms shouldnt be used becasue we shouldnt really discuss it. i dont really discuss anything intimate, not because im not confortable with what i do, say with my partner, but i dont wish to share it because its personal to me, and i dont really think its anyone elses business. its just the same that i wouldnt discuss details about my family life with just anyone, certain things, like masturbation, should be saved for yourself, or if you have to discuss it, someone extremely close to you, not in, say, a lecture room of 100! haha.

i do think, however, that it was interesting to note how the male terms are more violent to the female, someone in lecture noted that perhaps its to do with the way the act is physically performed , which perhaps it could be, although both the genders could be more or less forceful and im sure not all men approach their penis with the intention of 'beating it' and erhaps not all woen are timid throughout their approach. i think perhaps it is more to do with the stereotypical roles male and females are forced to play typically within society. men are meant to be rough and strong and if they did say they "caressed their penis" perhaps would recieve some stigmar for this. samely women saying something about beating their genatalia would receive some peculiar looks.

i think its interesting to note that there were far more terms named for male maturbation than female. i think this is because in late history women have been thought to be innocent and save them selves for their husbands etc. it is only in recent times, and still havent acheived the freedom men have, that they can openely discuss sex, let alone personal pleasure.

this link shows how more and more the stigmar around masturbation is being removed, and people who di it no longer have to wear those freakish suits shown to us in lecture

http://www.virtualteen.org/forums/showthread.php?t=11646

perhaps the people on this site are so open because they can hide behind their computer, i wonder if it was in person they'd be so open? i think, not yet.

Bad behaviour

and so i come to bad behaviour, firstly i must say how funny that family guy episode was! obviously as serious as shoplifting is, it was just hilarious. i'm not sure where i fall on this topic, on the one hand i think that a crime is a crime and if you fail to follow the law you should be punished, but then on the other hand multimillionare business owners don't struggle to buy their children new shoes for school. i think it is very much more serious is you actually harm a person whilst you are stealing, mugging for me is extremely low. if you just steal a jumper from primark because you know you can and you cant be bothered to get the 8 quid from your purse then that is inequesable aswell, but atleast no actual person is being harmed first hand. but i also think that the multimillionare has worked hard to make their business, put in their own money, made their own money, why should someone get away with taking it from them just becasue they dont have the cabability to make their own business???

but also i wouldn't like to see children go with out food. but you have to think that sometimes you see these stereotypical shoplifters, claiming its for their children to eat because they literally cant get food to the table, but they still have enough money to have a dog, buy cigarettes, buy a scratch card in the shop...?

ok, in summary i think what im getting at is that i can feel slightly more lenient to those who steal wihtout harming anyone, and more lenient to those who have understandable reasons- a need, to explain why they have stole

breaking the law is immoral as well as illegal, therefore those who do it just for a laugh should be punished. (lois from family guy) and those who steal and harm someone else should be severely punished.

as for stalking! its just wierd. i think as soon as you cross the line- and for me the line is doing anything the person doesnt know about- following, going through bins etc, or anything they do know about and have expressed their dislike of this behaviour. i think that watching someone briefly over the road as you happen to be walking by your window is ok, but if you sit there with an intention of watching them, that is when it becomes more like stalking and less like being nosy.

it reminds me of my favourite film 'blind date' staring bruce willis. bruce goes on a blind date and happens to bump into his dates ex, he then spends the night stalking them, trying to harm them, in this film its very comic, but you can also appreciate the disturbing character of the ex boyfriend- heres the trailor for the film:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=--kHJ8m69cc

for this issure of stalking i dont think you can ever say its right, theres no exceptional circumstance where you can be let off for vialating someones personal space/freedom etc.

Puff puff puff

Smoking- when we took the vote in lecture i was one of the few who had never smoked- never even tried it, and this is something i am farely proud of. at 14 i vividly remember all of my close circle smoking. friends of mine would encourage me to try it "just once", people would seem to think of me as boring cause i wouldnt. but as i sit here and take a clear intake of oxygen- no wheezing, im glad i refused. i was exceedingly pleased when it was taken out of pubs and clubs. i used to be annoyed that i would make an effort to dress nice and by the end of the night id smell like an ashtray and look like a member of kiss as my make-up was down my cheeks cause the smoke made my eyes sting! i struggle with the idea that smoking is "cool". when i see someone strolling down the street smoking i just think what a waste- waste of money, time, life. but i cant help that when i see someone like brad pitt in a film or seeing james bond enjoying the 'finer' things in life is within his character, and yes, as much as i hate smoking it is a credit to film makers because they do for that split second make me stop and think "wow, they're cool" and this is so puzzleing to me- i hate smoking. i disagree with some critics that seeing those films would influence me to smoke however. there is a slight twinge that stops me for one second but then my own beliefs kick in. i think that people who suggest seeing these films encourage people to smoke underestimate children- they are not just brain dead sheep or something, they are capable of making rational decisions on their own. the 14 year old me- i had peer pressure and film influence and i still didnt smoke. this "media influence" debate is still ever present. i found this website based upon it

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2004/03/07/wfags07.xml&sSheet=/news/2004/03/07/ixworld.html

i do think that more coul be done to stop people smoking, but taking it out of movies doesnt take it out of schools, streets, homes. perhaps the only way to stop youngsters taking up smoking is to stop selling them, but as the tax is so high on them, we all know government wont be likely to do this. and yes, it is a freedom of choice. but its a crime to commit suicide- why is it legal to do it slowly? haha i'm just ranting becuase this issue is to confusing to me. as simple as my main principles on smoking- its disgusting, totally not for me, my other ideas - whether its cool or not, should be made illegal- are still very much grey. i think this is why this topic is perhaps on the module because it does raise much debate- health issues, moral issues, danger issues. argh!

Infidelity

Right, I found Meena's lecture very interesting. It was very enlightening to hear what different people class as "cheating". Personally, I feel even a kiss on the lips is cheating. obviously a kiss on the cheek is a recognised greeting, so if a partner of mine kissed another person on the cheek i wouldnt feel i had anything to worry about. i found it shocking the amount of people who said cheating when drunk was ok! as a non-drinker i dont really have much idea on what is it to be drunk, i have however been under the influence of alcohol, and although i said things i wouldnt normally, and found i behaved slightly out of character i was still aware of what i was doing, i just didnt care, i know, however that i wouldnt have cheated..because i did care about that. saying a few things and being noisier is less harmful than cheating in my opinion. i believe that when you are under the influence, whether alcohol or drugs, you should still have the mentally and respect to your partner to just say no.
a long term relationship behind your partners back i find even more disgusting! the lying and schemeing involved, if you can put your partner through something like that then you clearly dont love them enough. and using the fact that they didnt find out is perfected, so what! you still lyed to them, and ran the risk of hurting them, you gambled with their heart, and thats inexcusable.
i disliked meena's point about women finding empowerment through cheating. if a woman is unhappy, or a man for that matter, if they feel imprisoned, unhappy cheating is not the answer. a dependant women isnt a woman who leaves one man to run straight to another. i feel women will get more empowerment through standing on their own, leaving a repessive relationship on their own.
i also think that "cyber cheating" is still cheating, just because you dont have the physical aspect of cheating confiding ALL your personal feelings into someone, telling them details about your partner, saying "i love you". just because it is in a chat room or via email doesnt make is excusable. your partner is there to confide in, i love you should be reserved for them.
i found a website devoted to cheating- and spotting one. it has some interesting clues on how to spot someone, and some words on cyber cheating also-
http://www.signs-of-a-cheater.com/internet-infidelity.html

the website creater also disgusses why she cheated- her excuse was "the grass was always greener" if this is the case then why cant someone leave their partner, if they truly feel the other person was better for them- dont go behind your partners back- just tell them straight. in this case i feel people are afraid to leave encase it isnt really greener this is so selfish!
i dont think infidelity is excusable in any circumstance- this lecture really riled me haha!

Being Bad Field Trip

I think we should go to New York and observe the American culture- there's plenty of 'Bad' things there to see. YAY we can see the seven deadly sins, we can gamble, smoke, get a tattoo, cheat, take drugs, rob a train, steal from the rich to give to the poor, masturbate, watch 'bad' films, watch some nasty comedians, take on a new religion and even lye with integrity! if not new york though, im sure we could see all that in wolvo! we could cerntainly see the tattoos and get some help with the masturbation, via the sex shops, right there on braod street!