this is my essay for assesment 3. i have based it on the lying with integrity topic.
“Everybody lies- every day; every hour; awake; asleep; in his dreams; in his joy; in his mourning; if he keeps his tongue still, his hands, his feet, his eyes, his attitude, will convey deception.” Mark Twain[1]
In this essay I am going to consider whether, if we all do it, lying is necessarily a bad thing, can it be a good quality? To begin with we need to understand what exactly a lie is. According to the Collins English Dictionary a lie is “1 make a deliberately false statement 2 give a false impression 3 deliberate falsehood”[2]. This implies that in order to be lying we must intentionally deceive someone. If we are intentionally deceiving someone then in what circumstances can this be a good thing, how can the ability to do so be a good quality?
Whether it is a good thing to lie depends upon context- when, why and to whom we are lying to. “The Truth hurts- so we respond to questions like ‘Do I look fat in this?’ or ‘Do you love me?’ with little white lies”[3]. It would be upsetting if we responded with the cold, hard truth so we deviate from it slightly in order to spare a person’s feelings. This is not a bad thing. In these circumstances it would be worse to respond with our exact opinion and risk upsetting someone. If we, however, completely lied and allowed our best friend to go out looking a mess based on our lack of honesty then they would be harmed by our lie- we have to find a balance between the two in order to justify our reason for lying.
Sometimes we need to lye in order to save lives. Ann Frank and those around her had to lie otherwise Ann would have died. In this circumstance, surely it would have been wrong to be honest. Paramedics also lie. Sometimes it’s better to hear that you’re going to be ok even if you are not. It would help no one to tell the truth. It would be different, however, if a doctor lied to his patient about his terminal condition. “The intended kindness of the former approach may backfire if the patient, when he eventually learns the truth, feels angry and betrayed, having lost the opportunity to make the most of his remaining time”[4].
According to Stan B Walters “dishonesty among the member of the intimate group can cause a great deal of emotional pain”[5]. This suggests that it is only due to the closeness of those being lied to that people get hurt. Perhaps it is not so bad to lie to a stranger.
In conclusion I feel that it is not a good quality to lie continuously with no regard to people’s feelings. I do feel, however, that it is a necessary one. In order to survive we have to tell lies. “We might become slightly nicer people if we pick and choose the lies we tell a little more carefully”[6]. I think that in some circumstances it is ok not to tell the truth, especially if someone will only get hurt.
[1] Brian King .The Lying Ape- an honest guide to deception. Icon Books Ltd, 2006, Cambridge, UK. Page 1
[2] Collins English Dictionary, 2005 edition. Editorial director: Diana Treffy. HarperCollins Publications.
[3] Brian King. The lying ape page 23
[4] Brian King. The lying ape page 205
[5] Stan B Walters. The Truth About lying. Sourcebooks Inc, 2000, Illinois, USA. Page 21
[6] Brain King. The lying ape page 210
In this essay I am going to consider whether, if we all do it, lying is necessarily a bad thing, can it be a good quality? To begin with we need to understand what exactly a lie is. According to the Collins English Dictionary a lie is “1 make a deliberately false statement 2 give a false impression 3 deliberate falsehood”[2]. This implies that in order to be lying we must intentionally deceive someone. If we are intentionally deceiving someone then in what circumstances can this be a good thing, how can the ability to do so be a good quality?
Whether it is a good thing to lie depends upon context- when, why and to whom we are lying to. “The Truth hurts- so we respond to questions like ‘Do I look fat in this?’ or ‘Do you love me?’ with little white lies”[3]. It would be upsetting if we responded with the cold, hard truth so we deviate from it slightly in order to spare a person’s feelings. This is not a bad thing. In these circumstances it would be worse to respond with our exact opinion and risk upsetting someone. If we, however, completely lied and allowed our best friend to go out looking a mess based on our lack of honesty then they would be harmed by our lie- we have to find a balance between the two in order to justify our reason for lying.
Sometimes we need to lye in order to save lives. Ann Frank and those around her had to lie otherwise Ann would have died. In this circumstance, surely it would have been wrong to be honest. Paramedics also lie. Sometimes it’s better to hear that you’re going to be ok even if you are not. It would help no one to tell the truth. It would be different, however, if a doctor lied to his patient about his terminal condition. “The intended kindness of the former approach may backfire if the patient, when he eventually learns the truth, feels angry and betrayed, having lost the opportunity to make the most of his remaining time”[4].
According to Stan B Walters “dishonesty among the member of the intimate group can cause a great deal of emotional pain”[5]. This suggests that it is only due to the closeness of those being lied to that people get hurt. Perhaps it is not so bad to lie to a stranger.
In conclusion I feel that it is not a good quality to lie continuously with no regard to people’s feelings. I do feel, however, that it is a necessary one. In order to survive we have to tell lies. “We might become slightly nicer people if we pick and choose the lies we tell a little more carefully”[6]. I think that in some circumstances it is ok not to tell the truth, especially if someone will only get hurt.
[1] Brian King .The Lying Ape- an honest guide to deception. Icon Books Ltd, 2006, Cambridge, UK. Page 1
[2] Collins English Dictionary, 2005 edition. Editorial director: Diana Treffy. HarperCollins Publications.
[3] Brian King. The lying ape page 23
[4] Brian King. The lying ape page 205
[5] Stan B Walters. The Truth About lying. Sourcebooks Inc, 2000, Illinois, USA. Page 21
[6] Brain King. The lying ape page 210
being lied to? i found this handy guide on how to know haha:
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